What's On My Mind

So it's been a while since I last updated. I have this thought going on in my head. I might as well just share with you guys who are reading (no matter I know you or not). Quoted Wini: "I've got nothing to lose!"

My mind has been busy thinking these few days. Actively if you know what I mean. It's so easy to just get caught up in the wave of mundane routines day in and day out that the more I am accustomed to the way of life now, the more unwilling I am to change, well, to make changes I mean if need be. Am a creature of habit.

I have been sensing that this season or phase in my life will be a time of 'being' first and 'doing' next. Without having the right view of who I really am, my identity in Christ, how God look at me, which is what matters most in the end of the day, I cannot and He will not allow me to do His work. I've been chasing after the next 'destination' or 'thing' that I should do without even realising what and who I am doing it for. Going with the flow just ain't going to work for me anymore. More and more I feel like I have been wasting my previous life away. I'm not saying that people don't need to work and live normal daily lives. What I'm saying is in the midst of living our daily mundane lives, are we living for a purpose?

I'm so selfish in the way that I live. All I think about is ME, ME and more ME. Yes, with my uni application rejection, I'm desperate to look for a way out. I want to fit in and be like others. Go to college and graduate and find a better paying job and make my parents proud and stuffs. Please don't get me wrong, I do think they are good things to do in life if you have the passion for what you are doing and all. My point is, are you fulfilling your purpose in life? I know that I'm way tooooo far from even fulfilling 1% of my purpose. Really. Because I'm too busy thinking only about myself that I have no time to think about others - people around me and those who are yet to hear and know about a God who loves them and accept them just the way they are, that they don't need to be beautiful, successful, rich, intelligent, handsome, etc to be loved and accepted. He loves us just as we are, we DON'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING to gain His approval like how we do to please and impress our parents, friends and other people.

I pray for a revival in me, to love God and love people. That's what Christianity is all about. Not all the dos and donts and thinking I'm a cut above the rest! I'm too small-minded. There's so much more to discover and find out and tap into. I feel alive now. For a long time I have been dormant. Living but not actually living. I'm alright if you think I'm going crazy, in fact I'm happy that I finally started to dare to be crazy. Crazy after God and wanting what He wants for me and for the poeple around me.

It's time to ignite the passion!!!